My Beloved Yukiteru
by Dlbn
Summary: Akise's thoughts about Yuki


How dare that girl, that psychopath, _use_ him for her own personal gain? Yukiteru is not some prize to be won in a stupid competition of good and evil, right and wrong. He is a human being. A frightened, puppy-like teenager, but a human being nonetheless. She wanted to win the game over again so badly, that her love for Yuki was dwarfed by her intentions. She may have loved him in the first timeline-in her original timeline, where she belongs-but once she found that she couldn't bring him back to life…? Maybe something inside of her snapped and caused her to come to our timeline by a simple time skip into the past. Or maybe the time skip had caused her to go mad? We will never know. We can only speculate.

Yuki was traumatized by the events of the second to final battle of the game. It didn't take a genius-or a detective such as myself-to figure out that one. Killing his friends was something he had hoped to never have to do; to never do even if he had to. And yet he did so, and all because she was messing with his mind and talked him into doing so. I'll never forgive that bitch for beheading me, but what really gets to me is how she hurt Yukiteru. And yet, he still waits in the void of the Second Timeline for her. Why is that? Because he fell in love with someone he couldn't have. Her homicidal rage against anyone who tried to get near him should have been enough of a hint that he needed to put distance between the two of them. But I suppose he did need someone to protect him, which she did. So I can't be _too_ mad at her, I suppose.

But I do know that there _is_ one thing that will never waiver. My love for Amano Yukiteru. Everything I said and did was in an effort to help him. Except for the two times I kissed him. Those were for me. Yes, I admit I had become obsessed with him. Yes, I admit I was a bit of a stalker. Yes, I admit I stuck my nose where it didn't belong, and got involved with a game that I had no business being a part of. From the view of an outsider, I am selfish. I did things I shouldn't have to steal him away from Yuno. But that's not true. I wanted to get him away from her for his own good. I didn't trust her from the get go. And it appears as though I was right to not do so. In the end, she would isolate and then betray him.

But she isn't the point. Her psychosis and my (possibly) selfish desires aren't the point. The point here is that Yukiteru was affected by everything. His heart would turn cold and bitter, and he would become depressed once Yuno committed suicide. He went from being a sweet, naïve, careful little loner into a cold hearted, brooding, tortured killer. I suppose I should have said something from the get go. I should have told him how much I liked him as he was, and that I didn't want him to change. But then again, change can't be helped sometimes. I would love to go back in time to before the Game began and get to know the purposefully isolated whinny little boy he had been beforehand. It sounds like a bad thing for him to have been that way, but that little pout and teary eyes were part of the reason I fell for Yukiteru in the first place. And, perhaps, that was what had attracted Yuno to him as well. I suppose I can't fault him for being how he was. After all, something had to have triggered it. Being alone all the time once his parents divorced and his mom worked long hours out of town? Or possibly it was in his blood. Maybe he was traumatized as a child and shut down. Maybe he was used to people doing everything for him but wipe his backside. I couldn't tell you either way, and I doubt he could either. It was just his nature to be innocent, naïve, and alone.

But whatever the reason or the end result, my beloved Yukiteru will always be that. Just Yukiteru. Whether he was a quiet social recluse or a social serial killer, he would always be Yukiteru. No matter what form he took, I could always find reason to love him. I'd always find the good in him and…

Maybe that's why he fell for Yuno. Could it be that he, too, only saw the good in her and ignored her flaws and faults?

Well damn.


End file.
